Okay, I knew you just had to look!
Little Suzy had a box of very small kittens that she was trying to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign “FREE KITTENS” next to them. Suddenly a long line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a motorcycle in front. The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out from the biggest car. “Hi, little girl, what do you have there in the box?” he asked.
“Kittens” Little Suzy says. “They’re so small, their eyes are not even open yet.”
“What kind of kittens are they?” he asked. “Democrats” says Little Suzy. The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.
Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. Obama called his campaign manager and told him about the little girl with the kittens.
It w as planned that they would return the next day, have all the media there and tell everyone about these “democrat” kittens.
The next day, Little Suzy is standing out on the corner with her box of kittens with the “FREE KITTENS” sign and the big motorcade of black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.
Everyone had their cameras ready and then Sen. Obama got out of his limo and walked up to Little Suzy. “Now don’t be frightened,” he said, “I just want you to tell all these nice news people just what kind of kittens you’re giving away today.”
“Yes sir,” Suzy said, “they are all LIBERTARIAN CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN kittens.”
Taken by surprise, Sen. Obama said, “But yesterday you told me they were DEMOCRATS.”
Little Suzy says, “Yes, I know. But today, they have their eyes open.”
proudly stolen from: http://amcon.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=humor&action=display&thread=402
Conservative Libertarian Outpost 
April 3, 2008 at 22:36
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The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are ‘the seven dwarfs’ they get ushered in to see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack.
‘Dopey my son,’ says the Pope, ‘what can I do for you?’
Dopey asks, ‘Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
nuns in Rome?’
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a
moment and answers, ‘No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .’
In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling.
Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Dopey turns back to face the Pope.
‘Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?’
The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers,
‘No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe .’
This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an
angry glare.
Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, ‘Mr. Pope, are there ANY
dwarf nuns in the whole world?’
The Pope answers, ‘I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world.’
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing,
pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:
‘Dopey screwed a penguin!’
‘Dopey screwed a penguin!’
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April 3, 2008 at 22:38
BTW, same citation for the whole thread…
A man is walking by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front the little girl’s screaming parents.
The man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the man brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the man, says: ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’ ‘Why, it was nothing,’ said the man; ‘really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lion’s den long, long ago. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right.’
I noticed a bible in your pocket,’ said the journalist.
‘Yes, I’m a Christian and was on my way to a bible study,’ the man replies.
‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this on the front page.’
The journalist leaves. The following morning the man buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page:
‘Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His lunch.’
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