Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

A feminist..?

August 10, 2016

Stolen from Eric @ Tygrr Express!

 

Hillary Clinton is supposedly:

1) Exceptionally bright. Yet she failed the DC Bar exam. She only became an attorney by passing the much easier Arkansas bar exam.

2) Exceptionally hard-working. She was kicked off the Nixon impeachment committee team for unethical behavior.

3) Exceptionally diligent. She was an average attorney who had her Governor husband beg people to give her monthly retainers so she would not get fired.

4) Exceptionally accomplished. none of her supporters can seem to name one single policy accomplishment.

Hillary Clinton is not a moron like Debbie Wasserman Schultz or Nancy Pelosi. She is not lazy like O44. She is not oblivious like O44. She does not have a policy legacy like FDR or even her husband.

She is an average woman with an undistinguished record. Wherever she has gone, she has avoided being the worst but has never been anywhere near the best. As Secretary of State, she was far below average. Everywhere else, she was inconsequential.

So enough with the myth that Hillary Clinton is some kind of trailblazer. She married a talented guy and rode his coattails. He was exceptional whether one agreed with him or not. She was just along for the ride. That is not feminism. That is the opposite of feminism.

It kills liberals to admit it, but many conservative women they deride as dumb or evil are far more accomplished.

Sarah Palin ran a city. Liberals will sneer that Wasilla is small, but it is still more than what Hillary did.

Michele Bachmann is an accomplished tax attorney. Tax law is a very complex subject and Bachmann knows it inside and out.

Dr. Condoleeza Rice is off the charts regarding her many accomplishments in terms of depth, width and breadth. She is also a classically trained pianist.

Hillary Clinton is just a woman who was lucky enough to marry a guy who accomplished stuff. Take away him, and she is nothing.

That is who Democrats are propping up in their latest attempt to continue treating the presidency as an affirmative action project. Hillary Clinton is inferior, and deep down she knows it.

eric @ Tygrrrr Express

This needs to be seen by every person in this nation, especially those that voted for Obama.

November 20, 2013

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St . Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning…Today you voted.”

From Texas Fred!

“All of us “old farts”

October 10, 2013

From none other than TexasFred,

The typical U.S. household headed by a person age 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under 35, according to an analysis of census data released Monday.  If all of us “old farts” have all of the money, then let us try to elect someone who might be near honest and not be after feathering their own nests.

They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs.  Some of us are “Baby Boomers” getting ready to retire.  Others have been retired for some time.  We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were.  We have worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and grown old together.  Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true.  But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration.

In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age.  Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience.

We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes.  For those of you who don’t know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators.  A few even remember when cars were started with a crank.  Yes, we lived those days.

We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many.  But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off.  We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam.  We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so.  We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield.  We didn’t fight for the Socialist States of America ; we fought for the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.”

We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag.  We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner,  America , and  America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.  We have lived what many of you have only read in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.

Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it.  It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us.  We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep.  There are those who want to destroy this land
we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.

It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress.  You fell for the “Hope and Change” which in reality was nothing but “Hype and Lies.”

You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don’t like it after all.  You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or “Climbing the Social Ladder” to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting.  Many of those who fell for the “Great Lie” in 2008 are now having buyer’s remorse.  With all the education we gave you, you didn’t have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the ‘Kool-Aid.’  Now you’re paying the price and complaining about it.  No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom.

This is what you voted for and this is what you got.  We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.

Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in 2014 we are going to take back our nation.  We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we’re going, and in 2014 we’re going to the polls by the millions.

This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.  It belongs to “We the People” and “We the People” plan to reclaim our land and our freedom.  We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.  So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the “Grey-Haired Brigade.”

Footnote:
This is spot on.  I am another Gray-Haired Geezer signing on.  I will circulate this to other Gray-Haired Geezers all over this once great county.

Can you feel the ground shaking???
It’s not an earthquake, it is a STAMPEDE.

All so very true my friend!

A nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots

March 23, 2013

Stolen from the one and only Texas Fred!

TexasFred

A nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots

So, in the spirit of *fair and balanced* here is a list of the biggest IDIOT IDEAS we have from elected officials today. And make NO mistake, there are IDIOTS on BOTH sides of the aisle and in ALL branches of U.S. government!

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote for who runs the government¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the government wants to ban stable law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a heap is only subject to having her neck and head searched¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is cute, but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested homes you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the governments plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you safer according to the government¦ you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

What a country!!!!

I received this via email, I have NO idea who wrote it or I would offer a huge KUDOS and linked citation. In any case, this is as true as anything we have seen on the ‘net.

Senior Moments…

May 18, 2012

Merry and Chris will love this one! Way funny!

http://www.rtbot.net/play.php?id=Xv1tMioGgXI

Just a little fun…

November 2, 2011

Back in the day when training new E.M.T.’s they were often driving white knuckled and, to be blunt, terrified. Well, I developed a technique that would distract them… So to speak, from their fears. Most often resulting in them busting out laughing, lowering their stress level, and getting us to the scene intact.

Last evening my phone rang, and it was an old aquantince. One that has to deal with the same problems today that I addressed back then. So, my faithful readers. Put the fine crystal away, and sing along! Your voice certainly can’t be any worse than mine is, and was! 🙂

Jack o’ Diamonds, Jack o’ Diamonds and I know you of old
You’ve robbed my poor pockets of silver and gold
It’s a whiskey, you villain, you’ve been my downfall
You’ve kicked me, you’ve cuffed me, but I love you for all

It’s a whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If I don’t get rye whiskey, well, I think I will die

I’ll eat when I’m hungry, I’ll drink when I’m dry
If the hard times don’t kill me, I’ll lay down and die
I’ll tune up my fiddle and I ‘ll rosin my bow
I’ll make myself welcome, wherever I go

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die

Beefsteak when I’m hungry red liquor when I’m dry
Greenbacks when I’m hard up and religion when I die
They say I drink whiskey, my money’s my own
All them that don’t like me, can leave me alone

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die

Sometimes I drink whiskey, sometimes I drink rum
Sometimes I drink brandy, at other times none
But if I get boozey, my whiskey’s my own
And them that don’t like me, can leave me alone

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die

If the ocean was whiskey and I was a duck
I’d dive to the bottom to get one sweet suck
But the ocean ain’t whiskey and I ain’t a duck
So we’ll round up the cattle and then we’ll get drunk

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If the whiskey don’t kill me, I’ll live till I die

My foot’s in my stirrup, my bridle’s in my hand
I’m leaving sweet Lillie, the fairest in the land
Her parents don’t like me, they say I’m too poor
They say I’m unworthy to enter her door

It’s a whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If I don’t get rye whiskey, well, I think I will die

Sweet milk when I’m hungry, rye whiskey when I’m dry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die
I’ll buy my own whiskey, I’ll make my own stew
If I get drunk, madam, it’s nothing to you

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die

I’ll drink my own whiskey, I’ll drink my own wine
Some ten thousand bottles I’ve killed in my time
I’ve no wife to quarrel, no babies to bawl
The best way of living is no wife at all

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If a tree don’t fall on me, I’ll live till I die

Way up on Clinch Mountain I wander alone
I’m as drunk as the devil, oh, let me alone
You may boast of your knowledge an’ brag of your sense
‘Twill all be forgotten a hundred years hence

Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, you’re no friend to me
You killed my poor daddy, God damn you, try me

Then there was….

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

{Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

{Refrain}

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

{Refrain}

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

{Refrain}

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
      Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
      Leering from the dashboard of my van

If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flaskPlastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
SOURCE

Enjoy John!

 

Whew…

March 20, 2011

It’s been a while… Right now I am at a nice little hotel waiting to finish up my training. So much has happened that I don’t really know where to begin since I last posted.

The BHO has sent more of our troops into harms way. So be it, and God bless them each and everyone. Perhaps a pilot will “mistakenly” take out the maniac that been running Libiya and killing Americans for years.

The TEA Party seems to have taken on a national face or two. For some reason I seem to remember our reason for being was to hold fire to the feet of politicians at the local level. But I digress…

Thinking of strange things; this years aircraft landing light award will be presented to the enginers at Freightliner. Yes, I know, they build heavy trucks, not aircraft…

Have a good one one and all.

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

December 4, 2010

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) is due out in 2013. Psychiatrists use the manual to diagnose mental illness. Among the changes in this edition will be the exclusion of five of the 10 personality disorders listed in the current edition. One of those five is narcissistic personality disorder. According to The New York Times, “The central requirement for N.P.D. is a special kind of self-absorption: a grandiose sense of self, a serious miscalculation of one’s abilities and potential that is often accompanied by fantasies of greatness.”

Many psychiatrists aren’t happy about the change. Dr. John Gunderson of Harvard calls the removal “unenlightened” and says, “They have little appreciation for the damage they could be doing.” But for some N.P.D. sufferers, the change brings hope. In two short years, for example, one particular occupant of a majestic white house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will likely be seeking new employment and new living quarters. Better, then, that he’s free to do so without the stigma of this dreadful disorder.

SOURCE

Early Christmas Wish’s…

December 2, 2010

Dear Uncle Fred. I know that you are busy so I figured that I’d get my wish list in early so as not to be too much trouble rounding these neat toys for big boys up for me.

I know, some might not be considered politically correct. But, oh well, when were we ever?

A day without fishing… Or blogging? Say it isn’t so!

May 8, 2010

Global warming struck my small slice of Wyoming today, and the snow stopped… For a few minutes anyways.

I’m not really much of a cold footer when it comes to fishing. Today though, I simply could not resist. Although I absolutely loved the fishing opportunities that Colorado offered? I never had an active trout stream literally within walking distance of my home.

I set the reloading things aside. The 270 can wait, at least for today… After all, last evening I had loaded up twenty precision rounds of Sierra GameKing. Deer, and Pronghorn are accounted for, and only the Elk loads remain to be loaded, both Accubonds and Partitions. Sometimes the inexpensive out performs the standard of the line. Be that Marlin XL7 Rifles, or Orvis Green Mountain Fly Rods.

The Orvis came out as if by magic, as did my waders, vest, and the various flies that I had tied across this rather extended period of man made global warming, or, as it is known in Wyoming, winter.

Men, and yes, women too have addictions, as noted elsewhere on this blog. They include, but are not limited to; Turkey Hunting, Fly Fishing, Elk Hunting, bass fishing, Fly tying, gun dog work and Upland Game Hunting, shooting of all disciplines, and the list is apparently never ending. Chili cooking addiction is, in particular, a very devastating addiction that get little attention. Entire families get hooked, for generations on Chili Verde and how it is best prepared.

I cleared the recently reduced three feet of snow from before the Ford Ranger. No small feat for a man well over fifty with a bad back, and started the trucks engine… Then I cleared the way onto the road, which, was actually dry pavement thanks to the the City Snow Plow Driver that works for us tax payers… No small feat for that group of Boy Scouts next door that were doing their civic duty clearing off the driveway and sidewalk of that astonishingly well endowed young “lady” that lives next door… Anyways…

I made it down the street that I exist on… I mean live at, to another side road. I progressed as it were, behind yet another tax paid truck driver with a big pusher thingy on the front of the truck to my point of embarkation. Satisfied, I pulled off my ultra light hiking shoes; known in most of the world as sneakers, and white cotton socks. Replacing the with my wool “Not Quite Perfect” full length socks. ( Yes, that is a brand name folks, and they are very good for the price paid! ) Opened up the door of my truck, and the following tax paid truck gave me a dose of global warming Wyoming style…

Any ways… After digging myself, my Fly Rod, and other gear out, I made my way down to Clear Creek.Where I was, uh.. Joined, by other town folks. Actually they were there waiting for me… Brothers of the outdoors!

Nancy said something like; “Don’t you wear your waders on the outside, and with a sinister look in her eye, proceeded to dress me more appropriately… Nooge, a retired Firefighter and Guardsman made the comment that he also might be in need of such training in proper dress. Michael, Donald, and Jimmy were all subjected to Nancey’s expert servicing…

Nancy did ask me something along the lines of “What ya’ think  I need to learn about fishing for flies…”

Preparation for fishing completed, I was asked to cast the first fly. I chose the Nancy Biot Midge pattern, stringed it up, and, drifting it through the eddies, and soon latched up with a decent Hofer Rainbow! Must have went all of  nine inches!

Then I woke up…


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