Archive for June 27th, 2007

— John Locke, The Second Treatise of Civil Government [1690]

June 27, 2007

Should a robber break into my house, and with a dagger at my throat make me seal deeds to convey my estate to him, would this give him any title? Just such a title, by his sword, has an unjust conqueror, who forces me into submission. The injury and the crime is equal, whether committed by the wearer of a crown, or some petty villain. The title of the offender, and the number of his followers, make no difference in the offence, unless it be to aggravate it. The only difference is, great robbers punish little ones, to keep them in their obedience; but the great ones are rewarded with laurels and triumphs, because they are too big for the weak hands of justice in this world, and have the power in their own possession, which should punish offenders.

— John Locke, The Second Treatise of Civil Government [1690]

Murphy’s law

June 27, 2007

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Lastly; Found on a poster in a shop just outside Leadville Colorado.
“Mister Murphy was a F**king optimist!” Printed some time in the 1850’s, the shop owner refused to sell it!

Wal Mart

June 27, 2007

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted that her husbandAlways accompany her on her frequent trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men: he found shopping boring &preferred to get in & get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women: she loved to browse One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion inour store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both ofyou from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below andare Documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s cartswhen they weren’t looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minuteIntervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’srestroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away”5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s onlayaway. 6. September 14: Moved a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told othershoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets fromthe bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began cryingand screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirrorwhile he picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked theclerk where the antidepressants were.11 December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the”Mission Impossible” theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” byusing different sizes of funnels.13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!” 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumeda fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!” And last, but not least… 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!” Regards,Wal-Mart

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