Archive for July 7th, 2007

Safety, or back door Gun Control?

July 7, 2007

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has proposed new rules that would have a dramatic effect on the storage and transportation of ammunition and handloading components.  The proposed rule indiscriminately treats ammunition, powder and primers as “explosives.” 

The public comment period ends July 12. To file your own comment, or to learn more about the OSHA proposal, click here or go to http://www.regulations.gov/ and search for Docket Number OSHA-2007-0032″; you can read OSHA’s proposal and learn how to submit comments electronically, or by fax or mail.  

Order in the Court!

July 7, 2007

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word
for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY:   Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:      No, I just lie there.  
____________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:      Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:        Yes.

ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:       I forget.

ATTORNEY:   You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:    He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:    My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS:     We both do.

ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?
WITNESS:     We do.

ATTORNEY:  You do?
WITNESS:     Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next
morning?
WITNESS:    Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:      Uh, he’s twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:     Are you shittin’ me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:      Yes.

ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:     Uh…. I was getting’ laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
WITNESS:      Yes.

ATTORNEY:    How many were boys?
WITNESS:      None.

ATTORNEY:    Were there any girls?
WITNESS:     Are you shittin’ me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:     By death.

ATTORNEY:   And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:  Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:     Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:     No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:      All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:      Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:      The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:      No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:  Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:      No.

ATTORNEY:   Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:      No.

ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:      No.

ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:      No.

ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:      Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:      Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
 

Yogi Berra addresses the crowd

July 7, 2007

ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
  05/27/2007

        May 19, 2007: St. Louis native Yogi Berra addresses the crowd on hand for the Saint LouisUniversity
graduation. (David Carson/P-D)
      

  Deadlines being what they are for this Sunday column, this essayist missed a momentous occasion recently. Yogi
Berra accepted an honorary degree from St. Louis University and delivered the commencement speech for 1,900
graduates and 10,000 in attendance at Scottrade Center.
It’s hard to imagine a more promising lingual event. Berra is to vocal communication what Don Cherry i s to the
fashion industry. Yogi doesn’t so much command the English language as he corkscrews it. It is part of what makes
the baseball Hall of Famer and pride of the Hill one of America’s endearing figures.
  While the oratory went unrecognized in this space last week, I was fortunate enough to secure – wink, wink – a
copy of the discourse and felt compelled to share it with those who did not attend. So here is, in its entirety,
Yogi’s dissertation:

  “Thank you all for being here tonight. I know this is a busy time of year, and if you weren’t here, you could
probably be somewhere else. I especially want to thank the administration at St. Louis University for making this
day necessary. It is an honor to receive this honorary degree.

  It is wonderful to be here in St. Louis and to visit the old neighborhood. I haven’t been back since the last
time I was here. Everything looks the same, only different. Of course, things in the past are never as they used
to be.
  Before I speak, I have something I’d like to say. As you may know, I never went to college, or high school for
that matter. To be honest, I’m not much of a public speaker, so I will try to keep this short as long as I can.

  As I look out upon all of the young people here tonight, there are a number of words of wisdom I might depart.
But I think the most irrelevant piece of advice I can pass along is this: “The most important things in life are
the things that are least important.”

I could have gone a number of directions in my life. Growing up on the Hill, I could have opened a restaurant or
a bakery. But the more time I spent in places like that, the less time I wanted to spend there. I knew that if I
wanted to play baseball, I was going to have to play baseball. My childhood friend, Joe Garagiola, also became a
big-league ballpayer, as did my son, Dale. I think you’ll find the similarities in our careers are quite different.

  You’re probably wondering, how does a kid from the Hill become a New York Yankee and get in the Hall of Fame?
Well, let me tell you something, if it was easy nobody would do it. Nothing is impossible until you make it
possible.

  Of course, times were different. To be honest, I was born at an early age. Things are much more confiscated now.
It seems like a nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. But let me tell you, if the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

  You’ll make some wrong mistakes along the way, but only the wrong survive. Never put off until tomorrow what you
can’t do today. Denial isn’t just a river in Europe .

  Strive for success and remember you won’t get what you want unless you want what you get. Some will choose a
different path. If they don’t want to come along, you can’t stop them. Remember, none are so kind as those who
will not see.

  Keep the faith and follow the Commandments: Do not covet thy neighbor’s wife, unless she has nothing else to
wear. Treat others before you treat yourself. As Franklin Eleanor Roosevelt once said, ‘The only thing you have to
fear is beer itself.’

  Hold on to your integrity, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the one thing you really need to have; if you don’t have
it, that’s why you need it. Work hard to reach your goals, and if you can’t reach them, use a ladder. There may
come a day when you get hurt and have to miss work. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt to miss work.

  Over the years, I have realized that baseball is really just a menopause for life. We all have limitations, but
we also know limitation is the greatest form of flattery. Beauty is in the eyes of Jim Holder.

  Half the lies you hear won’t be true, and half the things you say, you won’t ever say.

  As parents you’ll want to give your children all the things you didn’t have. But don’t buy them an encyclopedia,
make them walk to school like you did. Teach them to have respect for others, especially the police. They are not
here to create disorder, they are here to preserve it.

  Throughout my career, I found good things always came in pairs of three. There will be times when you are an
overwhelming underdog. Give 100 percent to everything you do, and when that’s not enough, give everything you have
left. ‘Winning isn’t everything, but it’s better than rheumatism.’ I think Guy Lombardo said that.

  Finally, dear graduates and friends, cherish this moment; it is a memory you will never forget. You have your
entire future ahead of you.

  “Good luck and Bob’s speed.”

Paul Broun

July 7, 2007

Gun Owners of America Political Victory Fund E-Mail Alert
8001 Forbes Pl Suite 102
Springfield VA 22151
(703) 321-8585
http://www.gunowners.org

July 5, 2007

Gun Owners of America Political Victory Fund has a chance to elect
GOA Life Member Dr. Paul Broun to the U.S. House of Representatives.
Broun made it into the runoff election following the June 19 special
election to fill the seat of recently-deceased Rep. Charles Norwood.

The runoff is scheduled for Tuesday, July 17. The winner
will immediately become the next congressman from Georgia’s 10th
district.

Broun has been an active sportsman and firearms activist for years,
and is currently a GOA Life Member. He feels very deeply about the
Second Amendment — indeed, about the entire Constitution. Working to
get rid of gun control laws is something that Broun believes in.

Please do what you can to help Broun win the special election on June
19. You can donate online by going to
http://www.paulbroun.com/111.html (a special section just for GOA
supporters). Or, you can write a check made out to Paul Broun
Committee and mail it to P.O. Box 7165, Athens, GA 30604.

If you happen to live in Georgia and think you can volunteer to help
Dr. Broun’s campaign, information is available at his main website:
http://www.paulbroun.com

We have a chance to put a true friend of gun owners in the House of
Representatives, so please donate what you can today. Time is of the
essence.

Thank you very much.