Conservative Libertarian Outpost

Stolen from Neil over at Hunters Glen! Enjoy! 🙂
 

Stuff you know if you have an AK-47, or an AR-15, or a Mosin Nagant:
____________ ________
AK: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon
infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
____________ _________ ____
AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn only from inside the
barn.
AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin: You can hit the farm from two counties over.
____________ _________ ______
AK: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR: Cheap mags melt.
Mosin: What’s a mag?
____________ _________ _______
AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the
trigger.
Mosin: What’s a safety?
____________ _________ ________
AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin: Your rifle has dog collars.
____________ _________ _______
AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
____________ _________ ___
AK: You can put a .30″ hole through 12″ of oak, if you can hit it.
AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30
rounds.
Mosin: You can knock down everyone else’s target with the shock wave
of your bullet going downrange.
____________ _________ ___
AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike,
boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
____________ _________ _________
AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR: What’s recoil?
Mosin: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the
previous shot.
____________ _________ _______
AK: Your sight adjustment goes to “10”, and you’ve never bothered
moving it.
AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of
angle.
Mosin: Your sight adjustment goes to 2 miles and you’ve actually
tried it.
____________ _________ _______
AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation’s most illiterate
conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit
nations’ most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
____________ _________ _________
AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
Mosin: Your rifle won a pole vault event.
____________ _________ _______
AK: You paid $350.
AR: You paid $900.
Mosin: You paid $59.95
____________ _________ _______
AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin: You dig your ammo out of a farmer’s field in Ukraine and it
works just fine.
____________ _________ _____
AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river
without leaving the comfort of your foxhole.
____________ _________ ________
AK: Service life, 50 years.
AR: Service life, 40 years.
Mosin: Service life, 100 years, and counting.
____________ _________ ________
AK: It’s easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge
sizes.
AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins
and a new upper.
Mosin: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his
friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
____________ _________ _______
AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith,
it’s under warranty!
Mosin: If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
____________ _________ _____
AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to
burst into flames.
AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot
group.
Mosin: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds
without the aid of a 2×4.
____________ _________ __
AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching “Red Dawn”.
AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching “Blackhawk
Down”.
Mosin: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the
chiropractor, then watching “Enemy at the Gates“.
____________ _________ ___
AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot
of Vodka.
AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and
apple pie.
Mosin: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for
shishkabob.
____________ _________ _______
AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice
stock set.
AR: Your rifle’s accessories are eight times more valuable than your
rifle.
Mosin: Your rifle’s accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid,
but it’s buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
____________ _________ _____
AK: Your rifle’s finish is varnish and paint.
AR: Your rifle’s finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
Mosin: Your rifle’s finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and a
paste made from Olga’s ground up toenail clippings.
____________ _________ _______
AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail
Kalashnikov.
AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene
Stoner.
Mosin: Cameras had not even been invented to photograph the young
Sergei Mosin.
____________ _________ ________
AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your
rifle over your head and shout “Wolverines! ”
AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your
house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a
fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.