Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Ahh, the Weather…

November 18, 2007

This particular bit of humor is dedicated to my good friend Neil Stalking Bear. He is a real Native American, and really can appreciate a good joke! 🙂

Circular reasoning———-just as in the corporate world. ROA

It was already late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in
South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to
be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never
been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t
tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village
should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and
asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”

“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even
more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. “Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it’s going
to be a very cold winter.”

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the chief called the National Weather Service again.
“Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”

“How can you be so sure?” the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

Retirement in Alaska

October 21, 2007

Retirement in Alaska

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.

He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

”Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00.”

Great”, says Tom, “After six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you, be some drinkin’.”

Not a problem,” says Tom, “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

“More’n likely be some wild sex, too”, Lars says.

Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea, “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

Lars replies, “Don’t much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.”


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